Summer and Clothing

It seems that spring has finally come to our little corner of the world. The sun is shining, it's warm, and my patio swing and lovely backyard are calling me...I'll be heading out there after this post. With the advent of warm weather comes all the usual fun stuff--picnics, camping, hiking, trips to the beach, and the purchasing of warm-weather clothes for my stepdaughter: shorts, tees, tanks, and bathing suits. My SD's mom does most of the shopping for the girly's clothes, and she picks out pretty adorable and sensible stuff. I do feel as though I'm sometimes judgmental, though, about what other parents will put their little girls in, and I wonder how common the feeling is.


It seems as if there's an abundance of mini-skirts, bikinis, and tankinis out there these days. I'm certainly no prude, and I want my stepdaughter to grow up having both a healthy self-confidence in her intelligence, humour, kindness, and, yes, sexuality, but also recognizing that the clothing she wears does not define her. The irony is that while I want her to be free to express herself, I also want her to wear age-appropriate clothing and recognize the equal importances of sexuality and privacy/modesty. I haven't figured out how exactly to stradd1le those two lines.

I first began considering my specific stance on this when Katy Perry's sketch on Sesame Street was pulled when parents reacted to her skimpy outfit:

My immediate reaction was, "Of course they should pull it! Who designed that costume? Sesame Street is about learning and playing and being a kid, not having your breasts pop out of the top of your dress and wearing a skirt that is thisshort!" However, some of my friends, who I love and respect, argued vehemently that censorship helps nobody, and that they want their children to grow up feeling free to express their sexuality however they see fit. This forced me to clarify my own thinking on the subject, because I agree that censorship = bad and healthy sexuality = good. Where, I wondered, did my opinion differ?

I decided that it was about age-appropriate sexuality. While it's true that I can't shield my 6 year-old stepdaughter from music videos, songs with adult-themed lyrics, or shows that are for tweens (or older), I try to temper that with discussions about how the media works ("Is it a good idea to stay out all night dancing? Why not?...Do you think it's appropriate that Katy Perry is lying naked on a cloud in her video? Why? Why is it important to keep your body private?...etc, etc."), and I also rely on certain shows to provide age-appropriate content. Sesame Street is one of those shows. Having Katy Perry dressed in a cleavage-revealing, upper-thigh-high outfit doesn't make it more entertaining, it's just yet another instance in which my little girl is exposed to the idea that dressing this way is the norm--that it's cool. A 6-year old, even with careful guidance, is not at an age where she can think critically about her responses to media. I expect her train of thought goes something like "Katy Perry = famous and cool; Katy Perry = wears revealing clothing; therefore, revealing clothing = cool."

I've already heard my stepdaughter refer to herself and others as "hot." I also see her admire her outfits and come down and ask "Hey, guys, don't I look cute today?" And while I think the second statement is fairly harmless (kids are naturally concerned with how they look, how they fit in...as are most of us, I guess), the first bugs me. 6 year-olds should never be hot. And I also feel fairly strongly that they don't need to wear short skirts and bikinis (and there are, I've discovered, bikinis and tankinis that are padded or shaped to give young girls the appearance of developed breasts). On top of all of the issues of early sexualization, over-emphasis on physical appearance, and self-esteem, my gosh, it must be hard to run around on the playground or in the beach in those outfits.

For me, it comes down to letting kids be kids. The other stuff comes soon enough, anyway.