Transitions!

So my semester is almost up (I'm a part-time professor), and I'm starting to think happy summer thoughts that will involve fun activities including (but not limited to): hiking, camping, a visit to my home province to see my sister who's due to have her first baby (a boy! Whoo!), and lots and lots of beaching (is that a verb? It is now!) and reading. Maybe some dissertation writing too...maybe.

I've also got what is probably my last winter soup bubbling away on the stove. Soon my foody thoughts will shift towards salads and BBQs. Today was warm enough to not wear a coat for a short period of time, and early evening found me, my partner, my SD and her friend from next door hanging out in the backyard, playing on the tree swing, and me being a big scary chasing monster (who becomes much calmer with hugs, natch).

This seasonal transition got me to thinking about the transitions that stepfamilies make on (usually) a weekly or every-other-weekly basis: the back-and-forth of the child/stepchild from one parental home to the other. Our household transitions (week-on, week-off, with a day in the middle of switchover) tend to go smoothly, but there are logistics involved, mostly because we share clothes, so there's always a pickup of stuff before actually picking up my SD, or there's the gathering together of stuff before her mom and stepdad come to get her. I know that some families keep separate stuff, and though some things stay at our respective houses (toys in particular), the clothes thing for a growing nearly-7-year old girl is much more economical if everything is shared.

The handovers in our family are a quick visit. Generally, we don't spend a ton of time figuring out schedules or financial stuff--but my partner and his ex-wife have pretty regular communication throughout the week, so there's no need to. We try to disrupt each other's days as little as possible, by confirming the time in advance, and by not lingering overly long. It's just one of the many subtle ways that we respect each other's spaces and lives that are linked through my SD and a general recognition that we're all in this to raise the happiest and healthiest child we can, but still have our own lives to lead and things to do. It's an interesting way of building a non-traditional family: two households with their own loves, dreams, goals, challenges, and schedules that are linked by this little burst of energy bouncing back and forth between them, and a general sense that we're all working to support each other in this parenting adventure.

I wonder sometimes if it's hard for her, all of this switching around. Or if it will be harder for her when she's a teenager, and she has a larger social circle in one area of town compared to the other. For now, though, the kidlet takes it all in stride though and it's pretty much all she's ever known, and certainly all she remembers.

In honour of spring (and summer. Did I mention summer??), here's a picture from our first big family vacation two summers ago. This picture was taken in Gros Morne National Park. Gorgeous.