Cast of Characters

The "evil stepmother" myth has been much discussed and derided in online stepmom circles. It should be fairly apparent by this point that it doesn't hold true at all. Speaking anecdotally, I know of no horrible, evil stepmothers. My own stepmom is a wonderful, wise, and caring woman. My stepdaughter's mother is also, herself, a stepmom. My mom is a stepmom, too. A very good friend of mine is a stepmom to her husband's 8-year old daughter. In these cases, they are all wonderful women and parents, to their biological children, and to their stepkids. Why does the myth persist, then? Myths are part of perceived wisdom and popular culture, based down from generation to generation. Is there anything in them that can stand true? Maybe; if we ignore that patently cruel and selfish nature of, say, Cinderella's stepmother, what else is at play? Maybe a sense of jealousy that the child came first? Possibly a fear that if she allows Cinderella to flourish with all her potential as a kind, caring, and talented (the singing!) woman, she and her own children will suffer. All I'm getting at, really, is that there is a reason these myths endure. Whether they should or not is entirely another question. I don't identify with those kinds of negative feelings, but maybe some stepmothers do. What do you think?

Life isn't a fairytale. Happiness is what you create in individual moments, instead of culminating in some a-ha moment of "oh, ok, NOW I'm happy, and that's where I'll stay!" I find happiness in the simple ways--in loving my family and friends, in being socially aware and compassionate towards people in the world, in knitting, in teaching my students both the assigned curriculum and issues of social justice. For my cast of characters, then, I refuse to rely on fairytale names. I'm not the evil stepmother, my stepdaughter is no Cinderella, and I don't need a prince to save me. I'm going with the basics, here:

Me--31, professor and stepmom.
Partner (P)--29, accountant and wonderful father
Stepdaughter (SD)--6, general joy
Mama (M)--SD's mother, a good woman and parent
Stepdad (SF)--SD's stepfather: again, good man, great parent to SD

These are the people I surround myself with, and life is generally great.